AITA for swapping my coworker’s peanut-free cookies with regular ones to prove a point?

So, yeah. I know how this sounds. And I probably am the asshole. But let me explain, because it didn’t start out malicious. It started out petty. There’s a difference. Right?

Okay, so there’s this guy in our office, Derek. He’s one of those people who always has to be the center of everything. Loud, always cracking jokes during meetings, sending dumb memes to the group chat, etc. You know the type.

Anyway, a few months ago, someone brought in a birthday cake for a team celebration. Derek made this big scene like, “Oh no, I can’t have it, I’m allergic to peanuts, do you want me to DIE?” Which, okay, fair. Except the cake didn’t have peanuts. But he claimed it might have been processed in a facility that uses them. Whatever. We all switched to fruit salad or some sad gluten-free brownies for future events, just to be safe.

Then it became a thing. He started sending out these passive-aggressive emails before every potluck: “Please label your ingredients clearly. Some of us don’t want to go into anaphylactic shock. :)” Like, dude. Chill.

Things Got Weird Fast

A few weeks ago, I made these peanut butter chocolate chip cookies for a family picnic, and I had extras. I knew better than to bring them in, but I joked about it in the break room, like, “Too bad these are death cookies, huh?”

Derek was like, “Ugh, I can smell the peanuts from here. Can you put them in Tupperware or something?”

Which, fine. But I was starting to get suspicious. This guy never actually has a reaction. No sniffles. No EpiPen. Just dramatic sighs and acting like peanut dust is anthrax.

So, I decided to test it. I made a new batch of cookies. Identical-looking, no peanuts, totally safe. Then I swapped them into the same container I used before. Waited.

Derek came in, saw them, made the same comment: “Ugh, death cookies again? You trying to kill me?”

I said nothing. Just watched him.

He didn’t eat one. But he kept complaining all day about how his throat was itchy and he might need to leave early. From what? There were no peanuts anywhere near him.

Later, I told my friend Tasha (who also works with us) what I did. She FREAKED. Said that even the idea of food tampering is serious, and what if he did react somehow, like psychosomatically or whatever. She told our boss.

Now there’s an HR investigation. I didn’t poison anyone, but I also didn’t tell the truth until I got called into a meeting. I was trying to make a point: Derek’s full of it.

But now people are saying I endangered a coworker, even if it was just social sabotage. I’ve been told to work from home while they “review the incident.”

I know it was immature. I get that. But doesn’t intent matter? If I knew the cookies were safe, and he wasn’t actually allergic, is it still wrong?

So… AITA?